讀樂樂：口吃的內心世界

《我說話像河流》作者：喬丹·史考特。繪者：席尼·史密斯。翻譯︰劉清彥。出版︰拾光。（作者提供）

《我說話像河流》的作者喬丹·史考特是加拿大著名詩人，將自身的口吃經歷以詩句表達出來。他把每天在口吃時所面對的掙扎，以坦率的文字呈現出來，讓讀者們感同身受地明白他或有口吃的人的內心世界，以及面對的不愉快挑戰。他也藉此繪本感謝父親。

At school, I hide in the back of class.

When my teacher asks me a question, all my classmates turn and look,

They don't see a pine tree sticking out from my lips instead of a tongue.

They don't hear a crow Cow! Cow! from inside my throat.

They don't hide their eyes from the moonlight that shines from my open mouth.

All they hear is how I don't talk like then.

All they see is how strange my face looks and that I can't hide how scared I am.

My mouth isn't working. It's full with words of the morning.

（以上是英文版的節錄）

說話時口裏載滿石頭

喬丹·史考特筆下形容自己的口吃，就好像說話時感到窒息一樣，感到口裏載滿石頭一樣，嘗試說話時感到有隻松鼠在口裏一樣。當他卡在字詞中，他的口會在打顫震動。

I wake up each morning with the sounds of words all around me.

P for the pine tree outside my bedroom window.

C for the crow in its branches.

M for the moon fading in the morning sky.

I wake up each morning with the sounds of words all around me.

And I can't say them all.

The P in the pine tree grows roots inside my mouth and tangles my tongue.

The C is a crow that sticks in the back of my throat.

The M in moon dusts my lips with a magic that makes me only mumble.

I wake up in the morning with these word-sounds stuck in my mouth.（以上是英文版的節錄）

這個終日受口吃困擾的小男孩，有一天，爸爸帶他到喜歡的河邊散步遊玩，隨着爸爸的一句安慰說話：「你有看見水怎樣流的嗎？你說話就像那樣。」（See how that water moves? That's how you speak.）這句話令他重新觀看河流，突然間，他所熟悉的河流不再一樣，被賦予了新的意義，是一道讓他感到自豪的河流——bubbling汩汩聲、whirling旋轉、churning攪渾、crashing衝擊。他的感受正正在河的流動中被重新定義，他的恐懼正正在河的流動裏被充權。

值得一讚是，著名插畫師席尼·史密斯運用了水彩和混合繪畫法，把作者率真的詩句以圖像呈現出來，也藉着優美、細膩且大膽的筆觸，具體地勾畫出詩人內心的掙扎和恐懼。

細閱《我說話像河流》的時候，讓我回想到小學時期，班裏一個有口吃的男同學，雖然不太嚴重，但仍然被其他同學取笑。現在回想，那同學的內心必定與作者喬丹·史考特一樣，每天上學都是巨大的挑戰。願我們能以愛來看待每一事、每一物、每一人。

文︰呂美玉

[Happy PaMa 教得樂 第336期]